S for Stress
We often use the word stress to describe a wide range of difficult emotions—frustration, anger, sadness, anxiety, or even physical tension. But not every uncomfortable feeling means you’re stressed.
In fact, some emotional discomfort is part of normal life and doesn’t need “fixing.”
So how do you know when what you’re feeling is stress? And more importantly, what can you do about it?
Stress is more than just feeling under pressure. It happens when the demands placed on you—by life, work, relationships, or even your own expectations—start to feel greater than your ability to cope.
It can sneak in quietly or show up all at once. It can affect your sleep, your focus, your energy, and even your relationships.
Understanding Stress: What It Is, What It Isn’t
It’s important to know that not all stress is bad. A certain level of stress can actually help us get things done. It keeps us alert, focused, and driven when we’re working toward a goal or facing a challenge.
That slight tension you feel before a big presentation or exam? That’s your body preparing you to rise to the occasion. In manageable doses, stress can be energizing.
The problem begins when stress doesn’t switch off—when it becomes constant, overwhelming, or tied to a constant sense of threat. That’s when it stops being helpful and starts wearing us down.
But here’s something important to understand: stress isn’t just caused by what happens to you. It’s also shaped by how you interpret what happens.
Let’s take a simple example. Two people are given the same deadline at work. One sees it as a challenge and feels energized to tackle it. The other immediately thinks, “I’ll never manage this,” and starts to feel overwhelmed and tense. The deadline is the same—but the way each person sees it changes their emotional and physical response.
When our mind jumps to worst-case scenarios, harsh self-judgments, or the feeling that everything is “too much,” our stress level rises—even if nothing has changed on the outside.
We begin to feel trapped or helpless, not necessarily because the situation is impossible, but because it feels that way inside our heads. Our body responds to these thoughts too.
The heart races, muscles tighten, breathing becomes shallow. This is the body preparing for a threat—even if the threat is just a thought. And once the body is on high alert, the mind starts to follow: it becomes harder to think clearly, problem-solve, or stay calm. It becomes a cycle that feeds on itself.
Stress is more than just feeling under pressure. It happens when the
demands placed on you—start to feel greater than your ability to cope.
So, what can we do about stress?
Start by paying attention to the story your mind is telling you. Ask yourself: Is this thought helping or hurting me right now? Is there another way to look at this? Shifting the way we see things—even slightly—can ease that inner pressure.
It doesn’t mean denying problems or to the story your mind is telling you. Ask yourself: Is this thought helping or hurting me right now?
Is there another way to look at this?
Shifting the way we see things—even slightly—can ease that inner pressure. It doesn’t mean denying problems or “thinking positive.” It means bringing in a more balanced, helpful perspective, especially when the one we’re stuck in is adding to our stress.
But it’s not just about thinking differently. Stress also lives in the body, and sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is give your body a signal that it’s safe to relax.
Another simple practice is slow, deep breathing.
Try this: breathe in gently through your nose for four seconds… hold for two seconds… and breathe out slowly through your mouth for six seconds. Do this for a few minutes. This quiet rhythm can calm the body’s stress response, slow the racing thoughts, and bring you back to the present moment.
Other helpful techniques include stretching, walking, or grounding your senses—like noticing what you can see, hear, or feel around you. These actions tell your body that it doesn’t need to stay on high alert.
